I grew up 40 miles north of Jackson Hole Wyoming on a ranch with my 7 siblings, my 4-H steers, a few dogs, more cats than I could count, 100 head of horses, some pigs, a donkey, a buffalo, surrounded by thousands of acres of wilderness and an imagination that ran wilder than the snake river. It was a magical childhood. Between chores and riding horses, we spent most of our time building castles in the willow bushes, forging the rivers as pioneers in hand carts, and performing extravagant 4 hour shows while ice skating on the frozen pond in the pasture. We didn't have TV or video games so our imaginations were our playing ground. We did however have a beta and vhs player that we watched all the amazing classics on as well as my favorite old disney movies. So when I recently came across the quote "All You need is Faith and Trust, and a little Pixie Dust" I was immediately swooped back to these good ol days of careless wondrous adventure and more importantly, Faith, Trust and Pixie Dust.
I remember feeling exuberant, invigorated with life, #passionate, without inhibitions. I believed in my #imagination, that I could do anything. I didn't care, I was #FREE. And I did everything because it was fun and felt good to ME. Then I realized I no longer live my life like that, I can't remember the last time I saw myself that way. When did I lose that kind of faith and trust in myself? When did the world start getting heavy and weighing me down. When did I forget how amazing I was and start doing things because I thought I had to for other people or the world. When and how did I lose my sparkle, my Pixie Dust?
Faith is a bird that feels dawn breaking and sings while it is still dark. ~ Rabindranath Tagore, 1861-1941 ~
It's easy to look back in retrospect and see all the times I was torn down, the pain and the trauma that I experienced and say, yeah of course that would dim my light and diminish my pixie dust. Yeah that little girl felt hurt and had to find a way to protect herself from feeling that way again. I can see now that I had to bury my pixie dust as to adhere to what was acceptable and allowed in this crazy world. I learned to NOT trust myself, because that self was too imaginative, too wild, too much of a dreamer, not a realist, and too unorthodox to the way everyone else said it should be. It seems funny that now i'm learning how to be like that child self of mine again. Learning how to #TRUST me, to have #FAITH in my self and follow the lead of my inner guidance and true nature.
Faith... When you come to the edge of all the light you have, and are about to step off into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing one of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on, or you will be taught how to fly.
~ Patrick Overton ~
I recently watched a #SuperSoulSunday with Oprah and her guest Iyanla Vanzant about her book TRUST. It was inspiring and a wonderful guidance point for me to remember who to have faith and trust in. She says that each one of us represents a mirror of the world in which we live—where anger and fear, confusion and isolation, lack of faith and a wanton disregard for the divine process of life causes people to act against their true nature.
Her solution is "The Four Essential Trusts" to bring our lives back into alignment.
I quote:
TRUST IN SELF
Trust yourself because you are worthy of your own time, energy, attention, and love.
You—as a demonstration of and representative of the presence of the Creator in the world—deserve and are worthy of your own trust . . . Trust yourself because it is the way you demonstrate that you are willing to embrace, engage, and enjoy life . . . Trust yourself because when the rubber meets the road, when all else fails, when everyone else has fallen by the wayside, you will know that you have always been and will always be there for you.
TRUST IN GOD
Trust in God because it is your sole purpose
for being on the planet. Trust in God because you are a human being, prone to losing connection to and awareness of your
good sense . . . Trust in God because it is the sure way that you will rise above your humanness into the truth of your authentic identity that is divine, purposeful, joyful, loving, and lovable . . . Trust in God because when you cannot do it—whatever it is—for yourself, God can do it through you and for you.
TRUST IN OTHERS
Trust in others because it is the only way to fine-tune your instincts, deepen your ability to
trust yourself, and learn the depth of your capacity to love and forgive. . . Trust in others because you need people to facilitate and support your mental, emotional, and spiritual growth. Even when your interactions and relationships are difficult, challenging, and uncomfortable, trust that you are growing. Trust in others because those whom you do trust—with or without good reason—will support you in recognizing the areas of your mind and heart that may still need loving care and attention.
TRUST IN LIFE
Trust the process of life because it is an incredible journey of wonder, adventure,
and evolution that you can experience only in direct proportion to your willingness to trust it. Trust the process because life is on your side. Life wants to encourage you, inspire you, and motivate you, moment by moment, and that can happen only when you trust that life knows exactly what you need, and exactly when you need it . . . When you trust the process, you will deepen your awareness and understanding of who you are and the meaning of every person and experience you encounter.
My practice of trusting myself is just that, a PRACTICE! Just like anything else, with repetition and consistency, whatever you are doing becomes more natural, takes less effort until it becomes second nature. I'm learning this. I've realized it's about being easy on myself and gently focusing my attention toward the possibility that I could have faith and trust in ME or faith that a greater force is there to assist and guide me. When I become rigid, I lose my focus and feel fear and doubt. I then resist EVERYTHING!!! I resist myself, my loved ones, my life and therefore push all the magical, etherial, and tangible support away from me. But i'm learning to steadily refocus and call upon Faith to guide me back. In doing this, I have had twinkles of feeling exuberant and careless and #HAPPY. Who knew that by finding trust and faith in myself I would start to feel joy and freedom. And I mean REAL joy, uninhibited joy, joy like when I was a young girl riding bareback through the apsen trees on my pony being the heroin of my own story joy.... FREE. And aren't I that? The heroin of my own story? I AM, and I am practicing it every day, every moment. And with a little faith and trust and just a little Pixie Dust, I can Fly! I can Fly! I can FLY!!!!
Remembering the #MAGIC of life is essential to getting to that space of Trust and Faith. It takes immense vulnerability to step out of the rigid merry go round and believe that you have not only the ability but the innate calling to be the authentic and rare human that you are.
It is better to believe than to disbelieve; in so doing, you bring everything to the realm of possibility.
~ Albert Einstein ~
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